#2393
Meanwhile at MSTBlanca...
Date: 08/23/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Evil is afoot!
(PM and his hoods are fixing up MSTBlanca)
Tork: Man, rebuilding all this stuff sucks.
PM: Maybe you'll think next time, before you have GROPE trash this place again?
Tork: Hmmm... Probably not.
PM: Grrr...
(Nabut finally finishes fixing the pool table leg, and gets up)
Nabut: So boss, we've pretty much got this place fixed. Now what?
PM: I thought you'd never ask! (Walks up to a portrait of Lita6969 that's in the bar, and takes it off the wall. Behind it is a panel of buttons. PM hits the big red one.)
(The sign on the outside of MSTBlanca changes from open to closed, and everything inside changes. All the tables, and other stuff gets retracted into the walls and floors, and is replaced by computers, and other Evil Genius junk. The pool table flips over to reveal a map of the world.)
PM: Gentlemen. It's time we've done some evil stuff with our criminal empire!
Nabut: Yeah, we haven't been doing as much evil as we're supposed to.
PM: Oh, and Tork. Pull down your mask from now on. Your new costume has air holes in that mask. You'll look evilier.
Tork: Um... Okay.
PM: Anyway, I've constructed, and launched a sattelite into space. Equipped to this sattelite is a powerful laser!
Buffalo: Ahre we guhna destruh GROPE wit it?
PM: Maybe. I'm going to target GROPE HQ, and hold it for ransom, and make the GROPErs do all kinds of evil for me, or I'll blow up their home!
Nick: Pretty evil.
Sam: But won't GROPE be doing all the evil anyway.
PM: Well, yes, but we'll be forcing them to do it. That's evilier.
Sam: I guess...
PM: Now to contact GROPE HQ. (Hits some buttons, and a big television lowers from the ceiling.)
(Meanwhile at GROPE HQ, Lita, Rimmi, Cave Rimmi, Evil Mike, and Gramps are watching TV in Diabolik's big round couch thing)
Lita: I wish Mickey and Tork were here. We could push them around.
Rimmi: Hey, we still have Gramps!
Gramps: Consarnit!
(Lita, Rimmi, and Cave Rimmer are about to start hitting Gramps when their Vampire Based Programming is interuppted by PM)
PM: Hello, GROPE.
Lita: (Suddenly becomes extremely violent) AH! I WAS WATCHING BUFFY, YOU &$*$^#&!!!! GET OFF THE TV!
PM: Hey! Watch your mouth! I'm a family show! Get it? I'm on the TV, and... Oh forget it... Anyway GROPE, I'm a tad short of funds right now, and was wondering if you'd rob the bank for me.
2780: Kitty needs funds too.
PM: Shut up, you!
Rimmi: Are you crazy? GROPE doesn't rob banks for guys who wear giant folded napkins on their heads!
PM: I though you'd say something like that. Well, at this moment I have your home targeted with a big freakin' laser, and if you don't get me the money I'll blow it up!
Gramps: You fiend! My OKS bottle collection will get destroyed!
PM: Yeah... Whatever... So, we have a deal?
Lita: I guess.
PM: Excellent!
Buffalo: (In the background) Hey, PM, ask for turlet pahper too. We're out.
PM: I'm not going to ask them for th-- (Transmission ends)
Evil Mike: So, we gonna rob the bank?
Lita: We have to, or maybe we could just move.
Rimmi: But we can't move, Mr. Diabolik. He's stuck to the floor.
Gramps: Yeah, and this is the only place that has a garage big enough for spidey!
Evil Mike: (Excited) Well, let's go steal!
Lita; I think you're enjoying this too much, Mike.
Will GROPE go through with it? I'm not sure. Find out next reply, or the one after it... Or whenever the hell they feel like getting to it.
ServoTheGreat
#2394
Rimmi: Oh crud!
Date: 08/24/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Rimmi: Stupid Phlabby Manatee! Now we have to rob a stupid bank!
EM: Bank robbing actually sounds like fun.
Lita: No, Evil Mike. We can't rob a bank for Phafofhaarfhala. It's wrong.
EM: And I suppose you have a better idea?
Lita: Sure do. We tell Phafoofha we're not doing it. We're not breaking our moral code just for him! He'll have to deal with it.
Rimmi: So we're moving out of Diabolik's lair now?
Lita: Of course not! We're not moving out just because PM has an urge to use some plehhy laser beam!
Rimmi: Then... Isn't he going to kill us all?
Lita: I don't think he has the guts.
Rimmi: But what if he does? Won't we die?
Lita: Sure we will. And PM, having murdered us all, will be filled with a horrible guilt that will haunt him for the *rest* *of* *his* *life*!!
42: Wow, Lita! No wonder you're Queen Bitch! That's the guilt trip to end all guilt trips!
Lita: Yeah! And if the guilt doesn't haunt him, our restless ghosts certainly will!
<There is a long pause while everybody thinks about this>
Rimmi: THIS IS NOT A GOOD PLAN!!
***
<Several hours later, at MSTBlanca>
PM: What the hell?? They've had plenty of time to try to rob a bank! Why am I not rolling in money right now?
Tork: I think that's Diabolik's bit, Pharaoh Manboob--er... PM. And he's in GROPE's Lair.
PM: I'm just saying, they don't seem to be *doing* anything! At least, not according to the surveillance I have set up around GROPE HQ. Don't they realize they're going to *die*?
Tork: Well, knowing Lita like I do, she doesn't want to rob some plehhy bank just for you. So she's somehow convinced the rest of GROPE to let you shoot them dead, just out of spite.
PM: What?? They're idiots!! <PM flips a switch, and his face appears on the TV in GROPE HQ.> You guys are IDIOTS!!
Rimmi: <glaring at Lita> No argument here...
Lita: Rimmi, shush!! We're sorry, Phafaalogula. We're the good guys. We don't do bad stuff.
PM: You guys do bad stuff ALL the TIME!!
Lita: Well, we're not this time.
PM: Do you people really think your puny lair can withstand my death ray? You'll all be killed!
Rimmi: Do you really think your puny genitals can withstand Mr. PoinyMcHappySackSlasher?
PM: Ngh!! <He turns off the camera feed with amazing speed.>
Nabut: You realize, My Liepeachpige, that once you've killed them, they won't be able to mutilate your--
PM: Shut up! Just shut up!!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2395
PM: Rick!! What are you doing?
Date: 08/24/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Rick: Ack!! Nothing, Boss!
PM: What's that you're writing?
Rick: <Quickly shoving a piece of paper behind his back> Nothing!!!
PM: It's not a love note to Carmelita6969, is it?
Rick: Er... Uh... No! Because you told me to stop seeing her! So of course I wouldn't just go right ahead and keep seeing her anyway! Because you said not to!!
PM: Can I see what you were writing?
Rick: No!
PM: Why not?
Rick: It's personal!
PM: Personal because it's for Lita6969?
<Rick can't answer because he's attempting to eat the note. PM starts prying on his jaws with one hand, and smacking him on the back of the head with the other.>
PM: NO! Bad! Drop it, Boy! Drop it! Spit it out, I say!
<Rick spits it out. PM picks it up and looks it over. It is in fact to 6969, and it's really mushy, and that's not just because Rick slobbered all over it while he was trying to swallow it.>
PM: Rick, I *told* you! You can't see her anymore!
Rick: I know, Boss! But she's so nice! We've only gone out once, and already she's let me--
PM: I don't want to hear it, Rick! I know how nice she is! But she's a Lita clone, and that puts her too close to GROPE! Do you think I want her telling GROPE all about how Tork is hanging out on our team now? That's the kind of thing you want to surprise people with right at the most inconvenient times... inconvenient for *them* anyway... MWA HA HA HA HA HA--
Tork: Don't you think Rick should be able to make his own choices about who he dates? I mean, that whole "6969 will tell Lita" excuse is kind of thin. It's not like Rick *has* to tell her what's going on. Don't you think it's kind of mean to tell him how to run his own love life?
Rick: Yeah!!
PM: No. Don't ever interrupt my maniacal laughter again. And check this out. <PM pulls out a book. The title says "The Big Book of Arch-Villainy." PM flips through it until he finds the page he wants.> See here? It says I'm allowed to be as big a jerk to my henchmen as I want, and I don't need a good reason.
Rick: He's right! It's right there! Damn!
PM: Can you guess what happens next, Rick?
Rick: Er...
PM: It's punishment time! <He signals to a couple of his shocktroopers, and they drag Rick away.>
***
<Later, Tork is wandering around the back rooms of MSTBlanca. He peeks into one room, and sees Rick there, knotting a bunch of bedsheets together. He goes in to see what's up.>
Tork: Hey, Rick! What's up?
Rick: The Boss put me inside his VR machine, that's what's up! And suddenly I was being chased around some big freaky mansion by The Scissorman!
Tork: Oh...
Rick: Do you know who he is? He's this psychotic little midget with these huge scissors! And he's a bastard, Tork! A bastard!!
Tork: Boy...
Rick: Scares the hell out of me!
Tork: It really sucks to work for Pharaoh Manboobs, huh?
Rick: Nah. I probably deserved it. He did tell me not to talk to her... <He hands one of the bedsheets to Tork> Hang on to this, will you?
Tork: So what are you doing now? What's with the homemade rope?
Rick: I'm sneaking out to see Carmelita6969. What did you think I was doing?
Tork: Aren't you scared PM will catch you and punish you again?
Rick: <grinning conspiratorially to Tork> It's worth it!
<Rick pushes open a window, and holding tightly to the rope he made from sheets, he manages to safely lower himself down to the ground outside. This feat would have been more impressive if the ground were more than three feet down.>
Rick: I guess I didn't really need the rope to escape a room on the ground floor, did I?
Tork: I like Lita6969. Tell her I said "hi," ok?
Rick: Sure thing!
<Tork watches Rick run off into the distance. Some time after he's well out of sight, Tork turns around to see Pharaoh Mobius standing right behind him.>
Tork: Eep...
PM: Tork! I'm hurt! Are you trying to escape?
Tork: No!
PM: Care to explain that rope you're holding? I think you're going to use it to go out that window...
Tork: Of course I'm not!
PM: Then what are you doing, pray tell?
Tork: What? Well... Er... I... um... Oh, poopie.
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Ever played Clocktower? It's scawwy!
The Scissorman gave me nightmares, dammit!
#2396
<Rimmi and Lita are arguing>
Date: 08/26/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
<They don't see quite eye to eye about Lita's plan for dealing with PM's laser. Evil Mike is looking for objects to destroy, and Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow is digging through Lita's purse. He pulls out her cute little makeup mirror. (It really is cute. If you saw it, you'd say "Oh! How cute!") He drags it out the door.
Cow: <with his mouth full> Heh heh... Lita likef thif mooirror... Pfe'll be fo piffed when pfe feef it'f gone mooiffing!
***
<Meanwhile, at MSTBlanca...>
PM: I'm sick of all this insubordination from my henchmen! And I'm sick of GROPE thinking they can just push me around! I'm Pharaoh Mobius, for crying out loud! That's it. I'll show them they can't mess with me...
<He hits the red button on his Death Ray control panel. The satellite shoots a laser toward GROPE HQ...>
***
<Meanwhile, at Diabolik's lair...>
Cow: By the timooe pfe figuref out who took her mooirror, I'll be long gone! I'll be mooilef away! And pfe'll wipf pfe had never ftuffed mooe in her purfe fo I would know pfe had a mooirror!
<The cow looks up toward the sky. He sees a bright light rapidly approaching.>
Cow: Oh, pfit...
*KA-BLOOIE!!11!!1!**
***
<Back at MSTBlanca (yes, again) PM is watching his monitor.>
PM: Ha ha HA!!! A direct hit! They're all dead!! Hey... wait...
<He watches the laser bounce off GROPE HQ and go right back up to his satellite, blowing it away. Diabolik's lair is completely unharmed. Boy, how fortunate that cow was dragging that mirror around, huh?>
PM: ...
Buffalo: WAHOOOOEEEE!!11!1!! Look at that purty exploshin!
PM: ...
Sam: I guess somebody put a mirror down there and the laser hit it just right.
PM: ...
Nick: Boy! The odds against the mirror being positioned at just the right angle to bounce the laser right back like that must be astounding!
PM: ...
Sam: But the satellite must be pretty shiny too, right? So why wouldn't the laser just bounce off it *again* and hit something else?
PM: ...
Buffalo: Well, that's easy! The dag-blamed thing's all rusted! Ah was supposed to put some sealer on it bahfore it took off, but Ah plum forgot!
PM: ... >:o(
Buffalo: No wonder it warn't shiny ahnuff to rahflect! Oh well, we'll git em next tahme, raght, Boss?
<PM pulls out his zap pistol and shoots Buffalo. It looks painful.>
PM: Ok... I need a drink... Where the hell is Rick?
<Tork is silent. He's been silent through this whole post, but this is that special kind of silence where the silent person is clearly trying to look like he doesn't know anything about what's going on, looking at the ceiling and digging his toe into the carpet and so forth. PM doesn't fall for it.>
PM: Tork? Where's Rick?
***
<Back at GROPE HQ, (shut up! I'll do as many scene changes as I damn well please!) Lita and Rimmi are peaking out the entrance.>
Lita: I could have sworn I heard a really loud explosion.
Rimmi: So did I. It was probably PM's plehhy laser. I'm just wondering why our flesh hasn't been fried from our bones, leaving nothing but our charred skeletons lying on the floor like a couple of--
Lita: You're really morbid.
Rimmi: Shut up.
Lita: *poining* Hey! Look over there!
<Lita scrambles over to a big black burn mark on the ground. Lord Kinsey Figgybottom the Cow is lying in the middle of it. The mirror next to him. It's not hard for the girls to piece together what happened.>
Cow: *faintly* Moooooo...
Lita: Oh, Lord Flippydolphin! I knew you loved us! And you've risked your life to save ours! Oh, I love you so much!
<Lita picks up the cow and hugs him and kisses him and says all kinds of nice things to him in babytalk.>
Cow: Ugh... Why mooust these things happen to mooe?
***
<Finally, somewhere not at MSTBlanca, and not at GROPE HQ! We're at 6969's apartment now. PM bursts through the door dramatically.>
PM: Ah-HAooooh... Sorry.
<He steps back outside, and waits for a few minutes. Presently...>
PM: Is everybody dressed in there?
Rick and 6969: Yes...
PM: <Bursting through the door dramatically> Ah-HA!!!
Rick: Hi, Boss.
6969: Hiya, Pharaoh Baby!
PM: Rick! I told you not to come here! What if she found out about us kidnapping Tork?
6969: You kidnapped Tork??
PM: No! Well, not exactly... He's just secretly working for our side now. But you're not supposed to find out.
6969: Tork's working for your side now??
PM: Er... Damn... Could you not tell Lita about this?
6969: I certainly will tell Lita! She would want to know! And I'm a loyal clone-- er... I mean... No. I won't tell. <Like most Litas, 6969 is a horrible liar.>
PM: This is great. Just great. Ok. Looks like you'll have to come with me, Lita6969...
6969: Oooh! Fun!
PM: I can't let you go tell Lita all about--
Rick: Stay alive, Carmelita6969! Just stay alive!! Whatever happens, I will find you!!!1!
***
<About five minutes later. Yes, at MSTBlanca. Bite me.>
Rick: Wow... I guess it wasn't so hard to find you, Sweetheart... Seeing as how I work for the guy that kidnapped you...
6969: <being tied to a chair by Tork> Oh, you did well, Sugar! You were as dramatic as you could be with what you had to work with. I was impressed!
Rick: Really?
6969: Yeah!
Tork: Lita6969, I am so sorry about this...
6969: Oh, it's ok Torky! I've been tied up lots of times!
Tork: But not by an evil arch-criminal like Pharaoh Mobius!!
6969: Actually--
Tork: Never mind!!
6969: Oh, I don't mind the Pharaoh. He's a little out of sorts lately, but he'll get over it. You know, he seems all hard and crusty and cold on the outside, but I know he's really all soft and mushy and warm and sweet on the inside! He's just like a Strawberry Pop-Tart!
PM: Oh, I am not!
6969: A *hot* Strawberry Pop-Tart!
PM: Stop naming me after breakfast pastries!
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
#2397
We missed it!
Date: 08/26/2002
From: wurwolf
Happy one year anniversary, Rimmi's response record post! 2396 replies and going strong!!!!! *<):oD
wurwolf
Bonhead #3
fs!!
[Pirate]
#2398
Doh!
Date: 08/26/2002
From: Tork_110
Happy anniversary! (I meant to say something, but I forgot)
Maybe we can reach 3000 replies by the end of the year, or 2500 by Holloween.
#2399
[Nabut] You know, My Lpeachpiege...
Date: 08/26/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Oh yes, BTW... HAPPY RESPONSE RECORD ANNIVERSARY, RIMMI!!! =)>>>
[PM, irritably.] Yes, what?
[Nabut] You *could* always hit them with Plan B.
[PM] Plan B?
[Nabut] Yes, Plan B.
[PM, brightening.] Plan B! Of course! We'll get 'em with Plan B!!!
[Tork] What's Plan B?
[PM] Watch and learn, my robot-suited henchman! [He starts typing stuff in to his big computer console.]
[Tork, to himself.] I am *so* not your henchman. [To Sam] So what's Plan B?
[Sam] Ah, who knows? It's hard to say with the boss-man here. He's always got some cockamaime back-up plan. Probably involves some sort of kooky invention. I've learned just to sit back and let things happen, man.
[Tork] Sounds like a plan.
[Sam offers Tork his "cigarette".] You want a hit on this, man?
[Tork blanches.] Umm, no. Thank you.
[Sam shrugs.] Your loss, robot man.
[PM] Now, watch, as I unleash the fury of the OPDS-3997P!!! MUUUAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1!
[He pushes a final button, and the big computer screen shows another satellite in orbit. With a flash of light, it launches a sizeable, silvery metal cylinder which starts straking down through the atmosphere in the direction of Not Europe. Soon, it's glowing red as it homes in on Diabolik's lair. The front of the cylinder pops off, revealing a orangeish/golden brown surface. A bunch of little cylinders set all around the rim of the hurtling projectile start spraying a white, foamy substance, which soon covers the front of the cylinder. Seconds later, the whole schmear crashes into Diabolik's lair with a splat.]
[PM flips another switch, and the interior of Diabolik's lair can be seen. He leans forward and speaks into a camera on the console.] Hey! Hope you like PIE, suckers! MUUUUAAAAAAAHAHAHAH--
[Tork] *That* was your unbeatable backup plan? You hit them with a PIE?!?
[PM] A pie the size of a FOOTBALL FIELD!!1!
[Tork] I don't see how that really ranks as a good revenge tactic.
[PM] What?!? Are you kidding? They're swimming in pie! They're getting all sticky and stuff! And before long, all kinds of ants and flies and other bugs are gonna be getting in their pie!
[Tork] Yeah, but... before you were going to blow them up with a laser. Now you're happy with covering them with pie? It's more of an inconvenience than real revenge, if you ask me.
[PM] Well, I *didn't* ask you, C3PO. Besides, you fail to see the most insidious part of my eVil revenge scheme!
[Tork] What's that? Indigestion?
[PM] No! I just hit them with a giant pumpkin pie. *PUMPKIN* pie, you get it?
[Tork] Umm... no.
[PM] It's gonna take them *forever* to eat their way out of that pie-trap. And then, they're not gonna want to see another pumpkin pie for YEARS! I just *totally* ruined GROPE's Thanksgiving this year! [He starts laughing maniacally again.]
[Tork shakes his head. He turns to Sam.] Why do we work for this guy again?
[Sam] Like I said, just sit back and let things happen.
The mad Pharaoh Mobius
Well, every now and again I've *got* to do the Mad Scientist schtick.
President of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Vice-President of the Mister T Fan Club
Posture King +8]=)
Sarcophagus!
#2400
D'oh! Quick continuity fix!
Date: 08/26/2002
From: PharaohMobius
<<<Duct Tape Mode>>>
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the people at GROPE HQ couldn't see Tork when PM was onscreen, because PM was using one of those goofy fish-eye lens cameras that make the person standing in front of them take up the whole screen.
That, and I forgot to mention that PM switched off the camera feed after he started to maniacally laugh, so the GROPErs didn't hear Tork talk.
Okay, there! That didn't take too much to fix! =)
PM
Sarcophagus!
#2401
Mickey: So, STG...
Date: 08/26/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Why are we handcuffed again....together?
STG: It's my original plot twist.
Mickey: Didn't we do this one.....twice? I'm calling my agent
STG: Just stick to the script.
374: Ah, $%#@! I'm out of gas!
Mickey: Maybe you shouldn't try to kidnap celebrities as much.
374: Ah, %$#@ you. (Pulls up to a gas station) Now you boys stay here (gets out)
STG: Get me some beef jerky!
Mickey: No! Now's our chance to escape!
STG: But she's taking us to GROPE hq! They'll hide us!
Mickey: Yeah, but when they see I'm with youuuuuuuu.....'re such a great guy, STG!
STG: Hmph!
(Mickey and STG get out)
STG: Hey! A convention center! I want to go to a convention!
Mickey: Hey, yeah...that might be a good place to hide
(STG and Mickey head inside. The first thing they notice is it stinks inside)
Mickey: Oh what the hell is that? That's just nasty!
Stan: Hello, I'm Stan
Mickey: Stan, I'll reason with you. This place, it doesn't smell very pleasant.
Stan: Ahhhhh...because this is my Finlandian Fish Convention.
STG: That was today? Damn it! I thought it was next week! I wasn't expecting Stan's Finnish Fish Exhibition.
Stan: No one expects Stan's Finnish Fish Exhibition!!!
Mickey: Oh geez....Look, I just want a place to hide.
Stan: OK, sure.....just find a place somewhere. There's room by the great white shark.
Mickey and STG: GAH!!!!!!!! (Run back to the cab)
(Mickey sees Brett Favre getting into the cab)
Mickey: Hey, that's ours, you bastard!!!! (/a kicks Brett in the groin) That's for the '97 Super Bowl!!!!
STG: So....now you want us to go back to GROPE HQ? You're complex
Mickey: I don't want to be shark bait!
374: (Gets back in) Hey, you didn't....leave, did you?
Mickey: Honest injun.
STG: Honest Native American, Mickey.
374: Good. 9starts the car, runs over Brett Favre) What the hell was that?
Mickey: Some cheesehead.
The bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
This reply brought to you by puns I've always wanted to do, but could never fit in the rp untill now.
#2402
Tonight, on "Access Not Europe"
Date: 08/26/2002
From: Tork_110
<Tork, PM and his henchmen are watching TV.>
Note: This joke is pretty much stolen from an episode of the Simpsons. So if you see Matt Groening, don't show him this reply.
Male Host: ...Santa Claus apologized earlier, and promised to finally bring gifts to everyone who doesn't live in Mexico.
Female Host: Chris Kringle: Class Act. Well, now for our weekly segment, "Your 15 minutes are up", featuring Tork_110. Really, am I the only one who is sick of (air quotes) poin? I say it's time to put this one trick pony out to stud.
Tork: Whoo hoo! First stop, Carmelita9000!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
And now, something different!!
You've heard dogs sing Jingle Bells. You've also heard cats do pretty much the same thing.
Now, for the first time ever, GROPE presents:
Lord Figgeybottom singing your favorite Christmas Songs.
Like Jingly Bells, cow style:
o/' Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Hey!
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo
Moo Moo Moo Moo Moo o/'
And a bunch of similar sounding songs.
Tork_110
What? Are you accusing me of using the cute cow to make Lita forget the other joke in this reply? I wouldn't do that! Really!
#2403
Could this be the end of PM?
Date: 08/28/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
(Back at MSTBlanca, again. Not much is going on. PM is reading the paper at one of the tables, Rick is cleaning some glasses, Nick, Buffalo, and Sam are fixing the juke box, and Nabut is treating his various injuries.)
Tork: So...
(No one says anything)
Tork: *cough* So...
(No one says anything)
Tork: *HACK* *COUGH* *SNEEZE* So...
PM: (Slightly irritated) Yes...
Tork: How's it going.
PM: Okay, I suppose.
Tork: Uh huh. Ya know it was pretty funny when you hit GROPE with the pie. I bet they're still shoveling out pie filling.
PM: Yeah, I guess. (flips the page)
TOrk: Yu huh, so anyway... You're from another dimension?
PM: Uh huh... (Flips the page)
Tork: And that Jimmy Mobius is after you, right?
PM: Well, I think he's off marrying Cara, or something in Mexico.
Tork: So, they obviously wanted to catch you, right? Wouldn't they have sent more than one guy to capture an infamous crimelord/evil genius?
PM: (Puts down the paper) Come to think of it, I guess they would've... But they haven't! They must be to afraid of me. (Picks up the paper and continues reading)
(Meanwhile in PM's old dimension, the wise council meets. It is organized of 2 really old guys, and a really old woman. How come all these councils are always made of decrepid old folk?)
(Yeah, they're gonna have stupid names. I'm making them up as I go along.)
Shaka: Jimmy Mobius, has still not returned with the fugitive, Pharaoh Mobius.
Bebop: Yes, it has taken him far too long.
Pofre: Perhaps, we should send something else?
Bebop: In the space trade agreement, we made with the Thumblessians, we were given free access to use their trackers.
Shaka: So, let's release the Trackers and the Cyborgs to capture Pharaoh Mobius.
Pofre: Yeah, that's sounds like a pretty good idea.
Bebop: (Yells to one of the guards in the Wise Council chamber) Release the Trackers!
Shaka: I thought we agreed I got to yell that line, Bebop!
(Back in our dimension, in a abandoned alley, a rift, portal, worm hole... thing opens, and 5 dinosaurs emerge along with a cyborg)
Cyborg: (Like in the Lord of the Rings, where the orcs are all running) Seize the halflings!
Dino #1: Um... I believe there's only one person we have to get, and he's not a halfling.
Dino #2: Yeah, he's like a Pharaoh, or something.
Cyborg: Whatever! Find PM, and bring him to me, and kill those he's with!
(Back at MSTBlanca)
Tork: So... Nabut. You been a second banana for a long time?
Nabut:... (ignoring Tork)
Tork: Okay. (Talks to PM) So Pharao--
PM: (Cuts Tork off) Hey, Tork, why don't you go swimming again?
Tork: Yeah! Swimming!!!
ServoTheGreat
Oh, and I realize this is kind of similiar to that Kill-Bot thing. I wonder whatever happened to that thing. I guess It's batteries ran out.
#2404
Leather pants!! n/t
Date: 08/29/2002
From: Tork_110
And to make this MST3k related, I enjoyed "Fire Maidens from Outer Space"
I saw it when it aired on Comedy Central, and I remember the dance scenes being longer. It's weird that I would have a crush on a dancer when I remembered this episode being a lot more painful than it actually is.
My (goofy) summary of that movie? Even with all those women in short skirts, it was still boring. Thank you!
#2405
Lita: Oh, Lord Pimplebosom!
Date: 08/31/2002
From: Carmelita9000
............................................................
Lita: You're so brave!!
Cow: <Lita, in an effort to heal his injuries has covered him from head to toe in bandages--he looks like a mummified cow> Stop hugging mooe!
Rimmi: You saved us from PM's evil deathray!
Cow: Leave mooe alone! I hate you!
Lita: Oh, I know you secretly love us! Otherwise you wouldn't have saved us from the--
**SPLAT!!1!11!**
Rimmi: Ok... What the hell was that?
<Lita and Rimmi run over to the window. Yes, there is a window. It's on a hillside. Mickey mentioned it that one time, remember? If he can use it so can I! Lita and Rimmi look out the window. There is a sea of pumpkin pie filling covering the entrance to Diabolik's Lair.>
Rimmi: Ugh!! What is that crap?
Lita: I don't know... <she cracks the window>
Rimmi: Don't do that! What if it's really stinky?
Lita: *sniff* *sniff* It smells like... Pumpkin pie... <She closes the window again.>
Rimmi: Mobus threw a big pie on us? That is *so* lame.
Lita: Yeah... Oh well. Evil Mike, grab a shovel.
EM: What? Why?
Lita: Because you're going out there to clean that stuff up.
EM: By myself? No way! You guys clean it up!
Lita: Oh, be a man!
EM: Kiss my ass! <he winks at Rimmi> ...please...
<Lita punches Evil Mike, and just barely gets out of the way in time for Rimmi to punch Evil Mike.>
Rimmi: He has a poin though--Not about the kissing, Evil Mike! Get off me! --Anyway, I was just saying, the cleanup process would probably go faster if we all worked.
Lita: But...
Rimmi: Come on. Let's get started.
<About three minutes later. Lita, Rimmi, and Evil Mike are all outside with shovels, knee deep in pumpkin pie filling.>
Lita: This sucks!
Rimmi: It sure does. Where are Mickey and Tork? They could be shoveling right now so you and I can go inside and sip drinks with little umbrellas in them!
Lita: Yeah! They're always running off! I bet they're out... I don't know... bowling or something.
EM: Might I poin out that we'd probably make a bit more progress if the two of you would shut your mouths and actually do a little work or something?
Lita: Shut up and shovel, Evil Mike! Rimmi and I can do what we want!
EM: Then may I at least suggest that all this shoveling might be more useful if we had a wheelbarrow or a bucket or something to shovel into? As it is, we're mostly just spreading this mess around...
Rimmi: If you know how to do this so well, do it yourself!
EM: Screw you! <He winks at Rimmi, but Lita smacks him with her shovel before he has a chance to add the "please">
Lita: This isn't working. I have a far better idea. <She pulls out her cell phone and dials a number> Hello, 8714? Hiya! It's Lita! Hey, you know how you're always saying you'd like to do some work for me other than just dumb old continuity replair because you've got so many more talents than that? Well, have I got a job for you! Yes! See, Phaffoofhasdlgha dumped this big old pie on us, and it made a bit of a mess and-- Huh? What? What do you mean you're not our janitor??? It's just a little pumpkin pie filling... Hey, don't you dare hang up on me! Don't-- Hmph! <Lita puts her phone away> Ok. So maybe 8714 isn't going to help us.
Rimmi: I don't blame her. I don't want to do this either.
Lita: I still have another idea. <She takes out her phone again, and makes the call...>
***
<Not much later, a truck pulls up, and some very familiar people climb out. Yep. It's the Six Shirtless Workmen that we haven't seen since we left Flavia's ranch! Without taking a moment to say hello, they immediately get to work cleaning up all the pie filling. Lita and Rimmi watch.>
Lita: Hey, Evil Mike, why'd you stop? You should keep helping.
EM: Nah. They're the *Six* Shirtless Workmen. I don't want to mess that up. Another person might mess up their synergy or something.
Rimmi: You don't even know what synergy is.
EM: Neither do you!
Lita: Be nice.
EM: Whatever it is, believe me, it would get messed up if I helped... I'd see to that...
Lita: I guess it's not worth arguing. Go back inside, Evil Mike. I'll punish you later. Rimmi and I are going to watch the shirtless guys dig!
***
<About 2 hours later all the pie is gone. Those shirtless workmen work fast!! But the Six Shirtless Workmen didn't stop with cleaning the mess, they did a little landscaping. They have laid some sod so that Diabolik's lair has a nice little lawn, and they also put a pretty little white picket fence around the edge, and a nice little brook running along one side. Those guys really know what they're doing! Lita and Rimmi smile appreciatively as the Six Shirtless Workmen get back into their truck and drive away, then they open the lair and head back down to join Evil Mike.>
Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
knows the Six Shirtless Workmen offer the best
in shirtless workmanship
#2406
Another PM, "Just-A-Dream"
Date: 09/01/2002
From: ServoTheGreat
Tork: Hey, Mobius? You wanna bandaid, or somethin'?
PM: Why?
Tork: Ya know, the giant gash on your forehead.
PM: Huh? (PM feels his forhead, and realizes it's all bloody) The hell?
Nabut: Don't you remember? You passed out, and fell out of your chair. While you were falling, you hit your head on the corner of this table. You then got right back up, and started reading the paper again.
PM: Oh yeah, this still wet ink on the paper fumes must've knocked me out. While I was out for that brief second, I had a magical dream of my own dimension, well not to magical, some old guys sent Cyborgs and Dinosaurs after me.
Sam: Uh huh.
PM: Okay then, back to reading the... (Passes out again)
*WHACK*
ServoTheGreat
I thought that whole wise council/trackers story was gonna be dumb. And PM should decide whether or not his dimension does anything about him.
#2407
(STG's sleeping on Mickey's shoulder)
Date: 09/02/2002
From: MickeyTheGardener
Damn, he snores.........and drools (ick)
(They're still in the cab. Presently, they're going past a barber shop)
Mickey: Wow. I didn't even know they still had those.
(Rex walks out of the barber shop)
Rex: That Yogi bastard is so full of crap.
Mickey: AHA!!!!!!!!!!!!
STG: What, what?
Mickey: Follow that duck!!!!
374: You've seen way to many $#@%&@ movies, pal! Following the duck isn't a direction!
STG: Don't run him over!
Mickey: Seriously, we can't have that.
STG: Finally, someone cares!!!
Mickey: Oh *yeah*! I care so very much! Just stop, please.
374: Ah, $%#@. OK (Stops)
Mickey: Here ducky ducky ducky ducky
(Rex sneaks up behind him)
Rex: AFLAC!!!!
Mickey: GAH!!!! (Slips and falss and hits his head on the door of the cab)
STG: HA!!!
Mickey: Oh yeah? (Tugs on the handcuffs. STG falls out)
STG: Ow!
Mickey: Now help me catch that little bastard.
STG: Hey, it's Rex!
Rex: Oh dear Lord.....
374: Meter's running, you $#@%!
STG: You're not going to kill him, are you?
Mickey: And get AFLAC *and* PETA on my ass? Yeah sure. Then I'll just jump into a tub of acid.
STG: Make sure you uncuff me first.
(Mickey tugs at the handcuffs again. STG hits the muffler)
STG: Oh yeah?! Rex, bite Mickey! Now!
Mickey: Rex left five minutes ago.
STG: Oh! (Tugs at the handcuffs, Mickey was trying to get up, but now he falls back into the mud)
Mickey: Will you stop it? We need to get that duck!
374: Look, it's not that I mind you flushing your money down the crapper, but I have things to do.
STG: Wow, look at that, a Longbow's just opened while we were talking.
Guy standing outside of Longbow's: All you can eat soup!!!!!!!!!!
Mickey: To hell with this. (Throws his hands in the air. Everything around Mickey freezes). Whoa. I forgot I could do that. Hey, STG! Did you see th....(Sees STG hanging above Mickey like a balloon) Oh. (Finds Rex and picks him up, and then goes to the police station, unfreezes time. STG falls on Mickey's head)
Mickey: Don't let that duck get away!!!!
Cop #1: So.....Mickey T. Gardene....
Mickey: Blah, blah, blah
Cop #2: Why you son of a bitch!
Mickey: Just get the duck.
Rex: AFLAC!!!!!!!!!!!! (runs)
Cop #1: Just why should we do that.
Mickey: Because...um....because....(//lightbulb)...AFLAC means "I killed all those people and tried to kill all those other people" in German!
Cop #2: It does?
STG: No it doesn't.
Mickey: Oh....yeah! And we all know about Gilbert Godfried's ties to Hitler.
STG: I thought he was Jewish.
Cop #1: I always hated that scumbag.
Cop #2: Alright, then....book the duck!
Rex: AFLAC?
The Bespectacled Mickey T. Gardener
Bboard Nice Guy
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Post Narc x4
Would like to apoligize to AFLAC, but our rp's much more important than your company, damn it!
Next up: GRRR!!
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